Fallen
by gracelesscas
Summary: Dean and Castiel have known each other since they were kids, dating since high school. But can they survive the relationship when Castiel goes off to ONew York City for a year for a job. Completely AU.


Completely AU verse. Jess is still alive, Castiel is human, Dean and Sam aren't hunters. Yup. Welcome to the Fallen verse. Lyrics belong to Florence Welch, Florence+the Machine. Song; Falling

_I've fallen out of favour, And I've fallen from grace/_

_Fallen out of trees, And I've fallen on my face/_

_Fallen out of taxis, out of windows too/_

_Fell in your opinion, when I fell in love with you_

Dean was never one for compassion, but it was never too late for him to try. Castiel meant more than the world to him, and he wanted him to see it. He took Cas out to some fancy restaurant, showing him off and ordering the most expensive things on the menu. Sam was off with Jess for the evening, so they would have the small apartment Dean and Sam shared to themselves. Dean held Cas' hand throughout the whole meal, never letting go. He didn't want him to go, as if holding on to Castiel's hand would bind him here forever.

But leaving was inevitable. Castiel had a new job offer, somewhere in New York City. Dean didn't belong in the city, never in a million years would he go there. Dean was a country boy, working at Bobby's garage to help pay the bills. Cas would be by himself. Not for forever, someone else would probably snatch him up within the first month he's there. Someone smarter, more handsome, and more romantic than Dean. Who was richer than Dean. Castiel deserved the world, and someone was bound to give it to him. But it wouldn't be Dean.

He escorted Castiel back to the apartment, where he had previously set up candles in advance, wanting to set a mood for the evening. Cas looked in awe, but this wasn't a time for talking. This was a time for the final goodbyes. Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's lips, and slowly started on the button of his shirt, until it slid off his shoulders. Castiel took the hint, and did the same to Dean, peeling off layers of clothes that just seemed so un-useful in this moment, memorizing each other's bodies for one last time. They fell back on the bed, never breaking the kiss unless it was for air, not wanting to waste a single moment. Dean slowly prepped Cas, wanting to take this slow. To make it right. Like their first time and every other time should've been, but Dean was a screw up and couldn't do that for Cas. He had to have it his way and he hates himself everyday for it. Once he's done, Dean slowly enters Cas, pressing light kisses all over his chest and neck. Murmuring "I love you's" and "Don't leave me's" as he did so. Cas was tearing up, but so was Dean. This was their last time together. The noises they made were whispers, nothing too loud, just quiet.

Once they finished, Dean pulled out, and laid down next to Cas. He was quick to cuddle into Dean's side, tears still coming. "I don't want to leave you. I never want to. I miss you already, and I'm not even gone. But it feels like I am. No one will ever compare to you, ever. I love you so mu-much, Dean." It broke Dean's heart when Cas' voice broke. He pulled him closer, holding him as tight as he could without hurting him.

"I'm sorry. I'm such a screw up and I should've made every single night I was so blessed to have with you this special. I'm so sorry. You-you're gonna find someone better. You ain't gonna even think bout me or Sam or Jess because you'll find yourself some rich business man in New York. He can shower you with love and kisses and do sweet shit for you. I love you so much it hurts, Cas. I don't wanna to see you go. You're the first person I've loved this much. I don't know what to do without you and your stupid trench coat and sweaters and that mess of hair that you never seem to brush but I fucking love it so much. I don't know what to do when I can't talk to you at night and just hold you. I don't know how to fucking function." Castiel knew that it was rare for Dean to show emotion, and that this was a big deal if he did.

"I'm not leaving you." Cas's gaze was unwavering, he was looking straight into Dean's eyes now, rubbing gentle circles into Dean's cheek.

"Yes. You have to. You're gonna move to New York and make a successful and nice living for yourself. This is all you've ever wanted since we were kids, Cas. I ain't getting in the way of that." Dean felt more silent tears roll down his face, because he didn't want to give him up, but he had to.

"No. I'm yours still. Long distance. You come visit me and I can come visit you and eventually my job contract will be up and I'll be back here, in your arms. On this bed." Castiel wiped away Dean's tears, not wanting Dean to hurt over this.

"What if you find someone better. What if." Dean looked away from Castiel; his bright blue eyes were just too much sometimes.

"There's no one better than you. You're my best friend. You act like an asshole, but you aren't. We both know it. You make an effort to be with me. You're talented. Smart. Funny. But most of all, you're mine. There hasn't been one moment where I hated you. I get mad at you, you get mad at me. It's been that way since we were 4 years old Dean. It isn't going to change."

Dean fiddles with the necklace around his neck, the one he's worn everyday since he can remember. He unclasps it from around his neck. "Cas, if we're gonna do long distance, you gotta do me one thing. You gotta wear this. It's like our promise ring. So that we never forget each other, give me something of yours to wear too."

Castiel allows Dean to put the necklace on him, and pulls off his class ring, putting it on Dean's ring finger. "I'm yours. Every day. Every night. Through fall, winter, spring, summer. The midnights and sunrises. Every morning cup of coffee, every alcoholic beverage you consume. I'm going to be here. Either a phone call, or a video chat, or a text away."

"I love you." Dean whispers into Cas' hair.

"I love you, too." Cas says back, before closing his eyes, and drifting off into a sleep. Not a peaceful sleep, because he knew when he woke up the next morning, he would have to leave.


End file.
